Podcast Tuesday- August 15, 2017

Podcasts: 1121

Welcome to Podcast Tuesday, where the numbers only rise.

I’ve added a couple of casts to my roster.  Becoming Wise and Get Your SH*T Together.  I have listened to neither yet but Becoming Wise is a short pod released by On Being so I suspect that I’ll like it.

I was really proud of myself this past week because I listened a lot.  Alas, it has made very little dent in my backlog.  I think that I just subscribe to too many Podcasts.  I can’t help it though!  There’s so much out there and I treat them quite like books.  There’s one for everything that I think I want to learn about.  This week I read something about Teddy Roosevelt and I was like, “Hey!  I should listen to the Presidential podcast!”  But I can’t bring my little OCD heart to start in the middle and, anyway, I’m still catching up on On Being.

When LD (Little Dude) was born, I simplified my reading life and it feels good to have a simplified reading life.  Stephen King, book, book, YA.  I should never really know what I am reading more than one book ahead.  For instance,  I am reading Night Circus right now (book 1) and I know that my next book is Rules of Engagement but I can’t choose my YA until I finish book 1.  It’s very freeing, actually.  I can read something that I’m dying to read relatively soon.  But I have nothing like this for Podcasts.

Sure, sure.  I could come up with something.  And I AM thinking about it.  I am thinking that maybe I will listen to an audio and then catch up on a Podcast, the whole thing!  At this moment I have about 48 hours of On Being stocked up.  That’s two whole days!  Hubby had a subscription to Audible and for a while he would only buy “long” audiobooks. I just asked him what he defined as a long audiobook and he said about 25 hours.  And I have one podcast with 267 episodes saved up!

To put it into perspective, I am currently listening to the Anne of Green Gables series and they run about 8 hours a piece.  It takes me two weeks to get through one in the car because I talk to my mom on the phone every day either to or from work.  Two weeks for 8 hours!  That means I would be listening to On Being for.. hold on… math… 6 weeks!  Now, it would be less time because I listen at home but still…  That’s a lot.

And I do like On Being.  I was skeptical at first because the first one I listened to was a discussion with a physicist on science and beauty and I was drinking a nice Michigan beer and thinking, “Okay.  Whatever.”  But I do like it.  Discussions about poetry and religion and information and mourning and mindfulness.  It’s kind of great.

I’m not calling my listening life a curse, though.  I’ll NEVER run out of things to listen to.  Even if there is a nuclear war, as long as I have a power source…  I’m counting on Canada for that one.

Do I Buy a Car? A Thought Process

My car isn’t paid off and I won’t get enough for it to pay it off.

I will miss having a convertible.

I cannot even put the top down that often because of LD.

It’s getting hard to navigate putting the car seat in.

I have to drive up a crazy hill this winter that the Mustang will not handle.

Sometimes I feel like I have to drive Ethyl forever because (1)she was (mostly) my dream car and (2)my dad talked me into buying her.

On the other hand, Dad would buy the new car.

Also, Dad would say, “You can roll your loan in.”

Also, Dad would say, “You can make more money tomorrow.”

What’s the point of fixing my car and then trading it in in four months if I can just trade it in now and not fix it?  I’ll probably get the same amount.

I know that I cannot keep my car much longer but I also know that I am afraid of becoming a MOM mom.

Seriously, tho.  My car is really dirty and I’d like to start fresh. lol.  #thelaziest

And it would be nice to have leather seats with a toddler and also Michigan winter totally calls for 4wd and heated seats.

Sirius radio trial.

I mean, it kind of seems logical to just buy a car…

The Long Walk by Stephen King

Whew.

My quest to read every Stephen King book continues and this one was a doozy.  Originally published as a Bachman book, the intro is an essay from King about becoming Bachman.  Kind of fascinating, from a writing point of view and a reading point of view.  In the essay, King says that Bachman has a darker view of the world, something that we would see in the ending of The Long Walk and so I went into it with that and the glowing review from my husband.

What I kept hearing about The Long Walk was that it was a dystopian world where a dangerous game is played.  And, honestly, I had some problems with this.  The world was not very well formed.  There were hints about what the world was like.  Characters talked about death squads and that one could disappear if they spoke out against the Long Walk.  There was a brief mention of banned books.  Really, though, it didn’t feel like the world played much of a roll in this one.  What it really felt like was a commentary on the darkness in people.

Would you watch a game where the losers die?  I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t.  But I have a feeling that a lot of people could and would.

The Long Walk is an annual event in which 100 teenage boys walk for days without stopping.  They much maintain a pace of at least 4 miles per hour.  Each time that they fall below this pace, they are warned.  After three warnings they “get their ticket.”  Basically, a military man shoots them.  They walk until they all die except one and the winner gets whatever he wants for the rest of his life, if he survives.  There is a lot of talk about the winners dying after the walk.

I never thought that I would find this book interesting.  I mean, the whole story is about a bunch of boys walking.  For miles.  For days.  Through states.  Over rivers.  Up hills.  There still manages to be a lot of action.  Plus, it ends up being something of a very character driven book.  As Garraty, our MC, walks, he talks to other contestants.  He learns about their families and friends, about how they ended up on the walk, and they, in turn, learn about him.

The terror isn’t even necessarily in the deaths, though some of those are pretty damn gruesome.  It’s in how the mind turns.  The characters are given this task and they know that all of them but one will die and in spite of themselves they begin to make friends only to watch them die.  Eventually, they begin to lose their minds, become animals.

This was a rough one for me.  I liked it.  It was a good read.  It was just terrifying toward the end.  Yesterday I read a paragraph that completely summed up my biggest fears.  When I finished reading the last 15 pages in bed last night, I felt like a century had passed and it took me a long time to fall asleep.

A kind of physical and psychological horror that slowly takes root.  Excellent read.

Tally Monday- August 14, 2017

Checked Out

None!  Yay!

Bought

  1. Under the Empyrean Sky by Chuck Wendig
  2. Blightborn by Chuck Wendig
  3. The Harvest by Chuck Wendig
  4. Emitown, vol 2 by Emi Lennox

Read

  1. Believe Me by Eddie Izzard

Currently Reading: The Long Walk by Stephen King, Essays- The Second Series by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Anne of the Island by L.M. Mongotmery, Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight and Emitown, vol 1.

I made a joke on Facebook back in November that whenever I was feeling upset about Trump’s presidency, I was going to buy a book.  You know, it’s a good thing that I was joking because I would not have any money left.  If I’m being honest, I’ve probably done the exact opposite.  Hubby and I went to our local used book store, one of my favorite places in the world, and he bought a book and I didn’t, even though I stood in front of those glorious horror shelves for a long time.

By appearances, I’m still buying books like a mofo.  However, I bought those Wendig books on sale and I had been waiting for them to go on sale for a while.  And the Emitown, well, I’m working on the first volume and I needed the second volume.  So sue me. I’m not defensive at all.

I am 40 pages away from finishing The Long Walk and, whew, it is hitting hard.  This morning I read a paragraph that was 100% exactly the thoughts that give me panic attacks.  It’s good but it is definitely a rough ride for me.  I just want to read.

I WANT TO READ!  Like, right now.  Like, hiding under my desk.  It can’t be helped.  It happens every day.

 

Randomness- Building a Life

I think that it happens to everyone at one point or another and I think that sometimes, as in my particular case, it has happened slowly and all at once.

On the end of the Mega Super Panic Attack that went from Sunday into Monday, the MSPA that made me unable to go to work on Monday and barely able to function at all (except that I have to because baby), I was kind of losing it a little.  I sat on the couch with my husband and my baby and I looked around me and I fought back tears.

Why?

And that is always the question.

I am the happiest that I have ever been.  I have a husband who is the love of my life.  I have a baby who is just perfect and awesome, healthy and bright, a real ham.  I love my cats.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  I love my house.  I love my car.  I love my job.  I keep busy.  I have a passion.  I have a goal.

So, why do I feel like I am falling apart and nothing is right?

Well, I know.  It took a lot of thinking and it took a lot a lot a lot of courage to admit it.  I DID admit it, though.  I admitted it to myself.  I admitted it to LD.  Those are vital first steps.

I’m not going to tell you what is wrong with my life.  Instead I am going to tell you a little about my plan.  I am going to work toward my goals and work with my passions.  I am going to stop giving a fuck about what everyone else thinks.  I am going to start grinding it out, day after day.  I am going to work hard.  I am going to play hard.  I am going to show up and be present.  I am going to prioritize.  I am going to stop running and hiding.  I am going to do self-work and practice self-care and take the time to do the things that I really want to do.  I am going to make changes.

First, I am going to work every day on the thing I want.

Second, I am going to be more active in my daily life, physically.

Third, I am going to commit my time and energy to my husband and son.  None of this “I’m spending time with LD but really I’m thinking about/working on my ridiculous to do list.”

Fourth, I am going to spend more time doing what I WANT to do instead of scrolling.

Fifth, I am going to face the things I need to face.

Sixth, I am going to prioritize so that things actually get done.

It’s a lot and it’s a big deal and I am doing it.  It’s time to be strong, smart, and confident.  It’s time to take control of my life.

Podcast Tuesday- August 8, 2017

Podcasts 1111

Last week I somehow managed to catch up on all of the podcasts that I had fallen behind on that I had previously been caught up with and I started venturing into the world of On Being with Krista Tippet again.  It felt good.  It felt great.  “Wow,” I thought.  “I am really making some progress.”

I was productive while I did it.  I cleaned the house.  I cleaned the decks.  I bathed the baby.  I felt good.  I felt great.

And then this week happened.

I mean, I guess that I should dwell on how awesome last week was instead of being all like, sad trombone.

I am currently spending a lot of time thinking about why I don’t do the things that I want to do.  Really.  Why don’t I?  I mean, when I get home from work tonight I can spend an hour with LD before he goes to bed and then I could, like, actually do stuff for a couple of hours instead of doing nothing.  Imagine that.

I want to sit on the back deck and color and listen to podcasts the same way that I want to read my damn book.

As for now, I am making a goal to do more of what I want a little more often.

Believe Me by Eddie Izzard

I love Eddie Izzard.  He is, like, one of my favorite comedians forever.  So, imagine my surprise when I found out that he had an autobiography out and my delight when I found out that he read the audiobook himself and that the audiobook had extra little tidbits in it.  To hell with the audiobook I already had checked out!

For the most part, I did enjoy this book.  It was exactly what I expected, the story of his childhood and his growth as a comedian and his coming out, all told with wit and jokes and a dash of history here and there.

Honestly, I don’t know if I could have made it through the print book.  Maybe it would have been easier.  Izzard uses footnotes throughout the book which might have been easier to follow in print.  While I enjoyed the book, it was easy to get lost because Eddie Izzard reading his autobiography is exactly how you would expect it to be, he goes off on long side notes that are great but distracting.  Some are so long that you forget where you were at when it started.

One the other hand, this was honest and funny.  It covered losing a parent, going to boarding school, learning how to stage a show, being a better comedian, and even running a ridiculous amount of marathons.  Definitely worth the read for any fan.