Every year is the same. My birthday comes and I seem to think that at midnight I will turn into some kind of magical being with poise and the ability to do it all with a smile on my face. Then you give me a day or two and I realize that I am the same old Rachael doing the same old things. This morning I walked the neighborhood as my workout. I thought that it would do me good to get outside. I read a study once that said 15 minutes outside a day builds confidence and makes you happier. I don’t think it worked because about half a mile into my walk I just wanted to get home so I could flip out properly and in a not so public way.
Why am I so stressed out? I don’t rightly know. I know that the house is a mess and the laundry needs washed because we were busy all weekend. I know that I want to spend some time in the yard and that we still haven’t cleaned up from the party. I know that the future father-in-law is going into surgery today and gave us way too much food to take home so that it wouldn’t go bad and I feel like I can’t waste any of it. I know that the fiance’s car is acting up and I have to leave over an hour early for work tomorrow so we can drop it at the shop. I know that today is the first day of Summer Reading, the children’s librarian’s busiest 7 weeks of the year. I know that the cats keep trying to break into our new fish’s aquarium and that one of them tore up my birthday plant and that another one missed the litter completely this morning and one of them keeps drinking nasty brewing water. I know that tomorrow night the fiance expects to bottle. I know that my debit card has not been replaced yet and in the meantime I need water softener salt and cigarettes. (Dear Lord, do I need cigarettes right now.) I know that there is a pile of movies waiting to be watched and a pile of books waiting to be read and that the Southern Comfort sitting on the counter is looking better and better as the morning wears on. I know that last night I tossed and turned for over an hour because I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the stuff I want to do and all of the stuff I need to do and all of the stuff I have to do.
How do you deal with stress? What is the perfect balance of dealing with attitude versus dealing with the to-do list?