Drunken Rachael Rant Time

So, I’ve seen this post going around on FB about “Daily Problems Women Face that Men Don’t Know About.”  Or some shit.


Lets worth through these.

1.  Totally legit.  I think about my safety all of the time.  It’s bullshit that we have to.  Bull.  Shit.

2. Why do you have white sheets?  Why do you not have an idea of when your period is?  My sheets are brown.  Before this?  Hot pink.  Before that?  Black.  Who has white sheets??

3.  Why not paint your nails before you shower?  Or, maybe you should take the time to clean that shit up.  Maybe you shouldn’t even paint your nails.  Nobody will notice.

4.  Boobs make things uncomfortable but I would rather have them than not have them.

5.  How much make up are you wearing??

6.  You know what fixes that?  Birth control.

7.  When I cut myself shaving, it’s rarely my knee.  Is that weird?  Just SLOW DOWN.

8.  Eff it.  I mean, I work with a lot of women.  I’m pretty sure they know when I’m on my period.  Take your purse.  Or just carry that pad loud and proud.

9.  Eff it.  Again.  Seriously.  Let a guy say I’m a tease.  It’s my choice what I do and don’t do, just like it’s his choice what he does and doesn’t do.  My gender should not make me feel bad about making the best choice for me.  Live and let live and if someone has something to say they can kiss my ass.

10.  Again, you care way too much what people think.  I do what I think is best in any given situation.  It’s called getting shit done and someone has to do it.

11.  Two words: Resting bitchface.  Also, again,  you care way too much.

12.  You don’t have to have eyeliner wings.  That’s a personal choice.

13.  Um, maybe it’s the birth control but I know when my period starts.  Are there seriously women walking around thinking that every gas pain is a period?

14.  You know what I do?  I use Hubby’s razor to shave my mustache.

15.  I seriously just never deal with this.  There is a guy who comes into work, a professional, who always compliments my legs.  I thank him and move on.  It never comes up again.  If someone is too complimentary, I ignore them.  It’s not worth my time.  I try to never put myself in a position where this is a problem but I also recognize that it is as legit as #1.  Some men can be pigs.


On Rereading Sylvia Plath’s Ariel

Ariel was my adult book.

When I was 14 there was an outlet bookstore that I used to go to.  It had all of those Children’s Illustrated Classics and I had pretty well stocked up on, but never read, those the two years before.  When I entered high school I decided that I was time to broaden my horizons.  Since I was furiously writing really bad poetry at the time and had begun to explore the depths of it in the local library, I went straight for the poetry section.  There were masses of thin volumes marked for $1.99 to $5.99 and for some reason I selected the plain white Ariel.  Perhaps I chose it because it was written by a woman.  Perhaps I chose it because subconsciously I remembered listening the recording of Plath reading “Daddy” on my cd-rom interactive encyclopedia.  Whatever the reason, I bought it and I started reading it and I felt like an adult.

That Monday I strolled into school with my sleek, slim book of poetry.  I tucked it under my arm, on top of my books, so that everybody could see.  In class it sat on the right hand corner of my desk, where I always put whatever I was reading the teachers never said a word.  Not that day.  That day my English teacher, a super nice woman whose name I cannot even remember now because the other two teachers I had for high school English shaped the shit out of me, asked me if I was reading Plath.

“Yes, I am,” I said proudly.  Somebody had noticed.

The teacher went on to tell me how much she loved Plath and how she read The Bell Jar when she was my age and it changed her life.  Needless to say, I bought The Bell Jar soon after.  And it changed my life.