Nothing yet! I’m kind of proud of myself.
- Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I’m still working on The Stand
Let’s get down to it! Yesterday afternoon I got out my laptop to write this post and just then my mother showed up to go for ice cream. When I got back, I played a couple of games with Hubby. Then I completely forgot that it was Monday. I seriously was sure it was just a normal Sunday. When I realized my mistake it was 10 and I was almost through a movie and ready to go to bed. Things can wait. It will get easier to stay on track now.
You may notice that my TBR column is gone. That’s because I am, at present, not keeping one. My stack of books is still on my desk but that’s mostly because I just haven’t done anything with them. My current reading scheme is Stephen King, two books I own, and a YA. But I’m not planning anything but the King, which I am reading through in publication order. When I finish The Stand, I’ll grab a book out of my office and read it, whatever it may be, and then I’ll do it again. After that, I’ll go to my new books at work and grab a YA to read. I can’t promise that this will last long but for now the idea feels freeing. I also plan on not allowing myself to buy a book until I have read two of my books for a bit. Things are a little out of control.
I don’t recall if I talked here about my resolutions this year. I kept them very broad. I wanted to focus on The Big Three: healthy body, clear mind, nourished soul. The first two are easy enough for me. Eat right, stay active, drink water, get sleep, keep notes, journal, stay organized, meditate. But I had a hard time figuring out how to have a nourished soul. I mean, I try to stay grateful and positive. I try to do things for people I love. I pray. I read books about spirituality. I try to live a good life. But is my soul really nourished? What makes me feel like my soul is nourished?
Reading. Dammit, you guys. I mean, seriously. How could I not realize that over all of these months? When I was stressed out. When I was unable to sleep. Even when I was losing my shit in the hospital because I hadn’t slept and couldn’t nurse and just wanted to eat my breakfast instead of trying to force feed a baby for two hours. I read during those times. I read and it made me feel calm and refreshed. I read and it helped me sleep. I read and felt like myself. Reading nourishes my soul.
And so it is time to confess. I have not been able to read much in the past week. I have not gained traction yet with work and home and baby and husband. I’m busy and tired and behind and needed. BUT, I have been bribing myself. Every day I read for 30 minutes when I get to work. I put my phone on “do not disturb,” set a timer, and sit at my off desk with my book. It makes me feel better about leaving Ian. It makes me feel calm enough to put my day in order. It makes me feel like myself.
I’m going to keep reading. It may take me longer. I may not get through as much. But it brings me true, pure joy to do so and I must treat myself like a human.