I haven’t been living my best life.
See, I’ve had this birthday money for a couple of weeks now and it’s just been floating around in my purse while I decided what to do with it. Of course, that means that it was slowly whittling away. I used it when I went to Salvation Army on my birthday. I used it to buy some stuff for my bonfire. I even used it to buy pizza for Hubby’s Father’s Day dinner. I had halved it and I was officially doing my best to ignore it.
Sunday night, I was laying awake, looking at the ceiling, and I realized that I could use a little bit of that money to make a big difference in my life. You could even say that it would be fulfilling a lifelong dream… Excited, I got up in the morning with some pep in my step, regardless of my shitty sleep. I got ready and left for work early. I went to Meijer.
And I bought a waffle iron.
Okay? So, what’s the big deal with a waffle iron? When I was still living at home but was starting to cook a little bit more, I wanted a waffle iron but my mother, who is not a big fan of kitchen gadgets or unnecessary clutter, told me I didn’t need one. When I moved out and moved in with my ex, I wanted a waffle iron but my ex, who loved meat and relied mostly on a rotisserie and an electric skillet, told me that I didn’t need one. In my own house there is barely any space in the kitchen, so when my husband told me I didn’t need a waffle iron this time I agreed mostly because I didn’t want to find a place to store it. Then last week I came across a recipe that needed a waffle iron and yet again was struck with a longing and this time I made the decision to just do it.
$20 and suddenly my world is full of possibilities. Not just waffles, but toasted sandwiches and potato cakes and toasted raviolis. Not just a waffle iron but all of those other things I keep telling myself I don’t need or can’t have. What if that thing that I’ve been dreaming about IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE. Yes, this is a side effect of all of these self-help books but it is literally a life changer for me.
Another thing: A few months ago I was confronted with the assertion that the universe is like a catalog. Anything you can think of, you can ask for it. Even as my attitude was changing and improving and my happiness was growing, I was laid low by the idea that I no longer had any dreams. You know, my head space was the day to day. I was in the game of getting up, going through the morning grind, dropping the baby off, working, picking the baby up, making food happen, and then trying to get the house together for the next day. I wasn’t unhappy. I was completely indifferent. I was just struggling to get things done.
But I’ve been learning that abundance breeds abundance. The more that I have practiced dreaming, the more dreams I have. The more that I have taken the time to notice the beauty in the world, the more beautiful things seem to happen. The more I spend time loving the people in my life, the more love I have to give. And, yeah, I sound like a total pukey woo-woo self-help dirty hippie, but I don’t even care.
A waffle iron is just the beginning.