Podcasts on my phone: 1003
A couple of weeks ago, I tried to explain to Hubby why decision making is so hard for me. It’s not because I am deciding what to do but I am deciding what not to do. When I decide to read, I am actually deciding not to listen to podcasts or clean or watch TV or color or anything else. Then I begin to wonder if I have made the right choice or if, even though my book is really good and I can’t wait to find out what happens, I might not get more out of one of the things that I have chosen not to do.
It’s gross. It’s real pessimism, I think. Whatever I am doing is obviously not the right thing. Obviously.
Where I’m going here is that I have not listened to many podcasts this week. There are a couple of reasons for that.
First, when I am at home I only listen to them when Hubby is gone or is outside or is otherwise occupied. I’m not sure why. I feel kind of like I am intruding on him when I listen to stuff, I guess. Even in the mornings, I listen to podcasts until he gets up. I pause when he passes through the living room and goes out for his morning smoke. I pause when he comes back in. And so on. He doesn’t necessarily interrupt or even comment about my podcasts. I should just let them run.
Second, I’ve been listening to an audiobook in my car. I had intended to go back to audiobooks when I came back to work in May but I put it off a couple of weeks so that I could keep playing catch up with my podcasts. Then I decided that it was important to me to read 100 books this year and the only way that I can do that is with audio added in. I am listening to Anne of Green Gables which I have never read and I am really enjoying it. But I miss my podcasts. Today I’m taking a break from Anne’s antics and playing catch up instead.
Last week I talked about Zestology and On Being, both podcasts that make me feel like being healthier even if I don’t go through with it. Once upon a time, two summers ago, I went on a girls trip with my friends and the day I came home was Father’s Day. Hubby had gone to visit his dad and the house was empty when I got home. I had a raging hangover and was feeling pretty GD terrible about myself. So, I turned on a church podcast. Seriously. I listened to it and it spoke to me and I got my house clean and got myself together and vowed to lead a better life.
Sometimes I need that, that idea that I can be more than I am. Podcasts get me there a little bit faster than books.