Tally Monday- July 15, 2019

Checked Out

  1. The Second Mountain by David Brooks
  2. Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul
  3. Walking by Erling Kagge
  4. The Path Made Clear by Orpah

Bought

None!

Read

  1. Sweetness & Lightning, vol 2 by Gido Amagakure
  2. Leonardo da Vinci by Giorgi Vasari
  3. The Best Loved Poems of the American People
  4. State of the Union by Nick Hornby
  5. Down by the River by Robyn Carr
  6. The Witching Hour by Anne Rice
  7. Loving and Leaving the Good Life by Helen Nearing

I chose not to list what I am currently reading for the simple reason that I pretty much have no clue.  In the past week I’ve finished a graphic, a book, a Little Black Classic, poetry, an ebook, an audiobook, and a nonfiction book.  I’ve managed to hit them all.  Okay, I made it happen because I wanted it to but there you have it.  I have almost a completely clean slate.

And wow it was fucked up.

Like, there were two books with glowing pregnant women at Christmas but one of them was a romance and the other one had the fetus being used for demon birth.  So there ya go.

This week I read about demon births, gambling reverends, radical socialists (who didn’t seem that radical but a bit high and mighty, if you know what I mean), cooking, artists, a marriage, and a lot of little poems about death.  I’ve been everywhere, man.

And now I’m looking forward to a pretty much clear slate.  I’m over halfway through a LBC of Tolstoy and then I think that I’ll be taking on The Wanderers by Chuck Wendig because Hubby is listening to the audio.  I’m reading a book of “who said what” that was a gift from my father-in-law instead of poetry for a bit.  I’m in a graphic about pregnancy.  My audiobook is historical fiction and my next nonfiction is about the Danish way of life.

I’ve been everywhere, man.  Like I said.

Alright.  I’m sick and I’m pretty tired so I’m going to go play a video game.

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Tally Monday- July 8, 2019

Checked Out

  1. Bitch Planet, vol 1
  2. Bitch Planet, vol 2 by Sue Deconnick
  3. The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell
  4. Kid Gloves by Lucy Knisely
  5. The Feast of All Saints by Anne Rice

Bought

  1. The Wanderers by Chuck Wendig
  2. The Spirit by Thomas Page (Paperbacks from Hell)

Read

  1. Sweetness and Lightning, vol 1 by Gido Amagakure
  2. Only Human by Sylvan Neuvell

Reading Leonardo da Vinci by Giorgio Vasari (book), Down by the River by Robyn Carr (ebook), The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (audio), Loving and Leaving the Good Life by Helen Nearing (nonfiction), The Best Loved Poems of the American People (poetry), You Are a Badass Every Day by Jen Sincero (daily), and A Course in Miracles (daily)

Let’s have a good, old fashions Tally Monday, shall we?  We haven’t done it in a while!  I’ve basically be burdening you with my issues because issues effect reading and reading effects issues.  BUT, I am in the mood to do this right today!

I checked out five books this week but in all fairness three of them were comics.  Bitch Planet has been on my list for a couple of years and I am working through that list so they are my next series but in the meantime I remembered that I never got around to Kid Gloves and I follow Knisley religiously on Instagram.  Onto the library card it went!  Living Danishly was the next nonfiction on my TBR and so I ordered that it mostly because I thought I had less book left than I do.  I can renew it and it will be FINE.  Finally, the Anne Rice… Well, I think I’m going through an Anne Rice thing right now.  I’m fine with that!  I want it southern and paranormal AF!

I bought two books this week… kind of.  The Wanderers got a preorder because I basically love Chuck Wendig’s blog.  I’m excited for this book and even Hubby wants to read it.  I just wish that I could drop everything and dive right in.  The Spirit was part of my Paperbacks from Hell subscription and I never know when these are coming so they are always a GD delight to receive.  It got added to my TBR and my stack.

I didn’t excel at the reading this week.  I meant to!  I meant to spend tons of time reading!  I even carried my book with me most of the week.  It just didn’t happen.  There was a lot of hands on parenting going on.  Really I had one of those weeks where I feel like I didn’t actually do anything that I wanted or enjoyed.  I wanted to play games more than one night.  I wanted to spend time out in my chair.  I wanted to read.  But the time slipped away.  Sweetness and Lightning was adorable and made me hungry and now I have to finish that series too and Only Human wrapped up the Themis Files and was really good.  Definitely a trilogy that I’d suggest.

I’m coming up on one of those wrap up periods of reading.  In the next couple of weeks I should get through at least three of my book books (because they are short), my audiobook, my nonfiction book, the poetry, and my ebook.  It’s almost like I am starting a new age!  Some of these books I have been with for a long time and I am looking forward to the change.

Hey, did you know that you’re dying?  Like, right now?  Life is short and it’s so easy to get caught up in all of the bullshit and forget to enjoy things.  My challenge to you this week, and to myself, IS TO ENJOY SHIT!  I mean it!  Eat a good meal.  Read a good book.  Go for a walk.  Play an all consuming video game.  Spend time with the people you love.  Be unflappable.  Make a little space for something special.  Get some damn ice cream.  These are the days of our lives, man.  The days of our lives.

Tally Monday- July 1, 2019

Checked Out

  1. The Paris Review Interviews Women Writers at Work
  2. Wolf in White Van by John Darnielle
  3. Heating & Cooling by Beth Ann Fennelly
  4. Midnight Crossing by Charlaine Harris
  5. Home Improvement by Charlaine Harris
  6. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
  7. Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris
  8. Soulless by Gail Carriager
  9. Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul 2
  10. State of the Union by Nick Hornby
  11. Sweetness and Lightning 1 by Gido Amagakure
  12. Sweetness and Lightning 2 by Gido Amagakure
  13. When the Sky Fell by Rand Flem-Ath
  14. Egyptians by Michael Hayes

Bought

  1. Vampire Diaries, all of them- by L.J. Smith

Read

  1. Rat Queens, vol 6 by Kurtis J. Wiebe
  2. Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock

Reading: Only Human by Sylvan Neuvel (book), Down by the River by Robyn Carr (ebook), The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (audiobook), Loving and Leaving the Good Life by Helen Nearing (nonfiction), The Best Loved Poems of the American People (poetry), and A Course in Miracles (daily)

Fuuuuuck.  Or, as I put it on Facebook:

Monday:  I’m going to get my life under control, starting with my TBR!
Tuesday: I’m sad.  I should check out a bunch of books and buy some too.
Wednesday:  Oh no.
Thursday: What have I done??
Friday: Dammit.

Basically, a couple of weeks ago I made a decision and the decision made me feel TERRIBLE.  It was really weighing on me and making me feel really bad about myself.  Tuesday was the climax.  I got up in the morning feeling shitty about myself, cried a bit, fretted a ton, and decided that I should do some “mock retail therapy.”  The result was a pile of books checked out from the library.  They are stacked on my desk at home, next to my TBR, and I think I might get to them in the next decade or so.

But checked them out made me feel WAY BETTER.  Like, look at all of this abundance!  Lifting my mood gave me the space to think and I had a realization.  I am always trying to “fix” something that’s “wrong with me.”  But there’s really nothing wrong with me that can be “fixed.”  I mean, we all know that I struggle with mental health but I even handle that pretty well.  For some reason I always think that I am broken or not enough, that I have to fix something rather than just striving to be my best, and it makes me feel terrible.

At the end of the day, I’m pretty awesome.  I’m a good wife (I try to be excellent but get in my own way), a great mom, an excellent librarian.  I am a good friend and kitty mom.  I am smart and funny and I get shit done.  And I still manage to read and write and exercise every day.  I’d call this all WINNING.  So I decided, yet again, to focus on loving myself and to try to live “intuitively,” being careful to listen to what I really WANT and what I really NEED.  It’s tough but I’m trying.

LD was gone from Wednesday to Sunday with Grandma and Papa.  It was nice little break, even if I missed him.  I intended to read a lot while he was gone but I didn’t actually get around to it until Sunday afternoon.  I sat in my favorite chair under my favorite tree with sun tea in my favorite cup and I read until LD got home.  It felt great and I feel like I am ready to take off on a reading spurt again.  Good thing because I have an avalanche waiting to happen.

Reading is one of my top priorities this week.  There’s a holiday and the weather is fine.  It’s time.  Only Human took me a minute to get into but now I am back with the characters and can’t wait to see what happens.  I’m nearing the end of The Witching Hour and plan to knock that out this week too.  I’m at the house restoration part and I AM HERE FOR IT.  All I really want is a big old house.  I have to live vicariously.

Other than that, I am trying to come at things from a place of abundance.  I have an abundance to books to read, not a lack of time to read them in.  *uncomfortable grin*

Tally Monday- June 24, 2019

Checked Out

  1. Loving and Leaving the Good Life by Helen Nearing
  2. Bat Girl, vol 1
  3. Bat Girl, vol 2
  4. Bat girl, vol 3
  5. Bat Girl, vol 4
  6. Bat Girl, vol 5 by Gail Simone
  7. Rat Queens, vol 6 by Kurtis J. Wiebe

Bought

  1. Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead

Read

  1. Rat Queens, vol 4
  2. Rat Queens, vol 5 by Kurtis J. Wiebe
  3. Stardew Valley Guidebook by Kari Fry

Reading The Life of a Stupid Man by Ryunosuke Akutagawa (book), Down by the River by Robyn Carr (ebook), The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (audiobook), Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock, Best Loved Poems of the American People (poetry), A Course in Miracles (daily)

Let’s suppose that Atlantis was real and then let’s suppose that survivors from the great flooding (hmm… great floods) traveled to distant lands and spread their knowledge of architecture and technology and astronomy and mathematics and religion.  There are enough similarities between a number of ancient civilizations to argue this point and what better way to explain the differences between the emerging cultures than that they were helped along by humans- humans who probably took their own ideas with them and made changes to the original blueprints.

And so, that’s how I’m thinking nowadays.  The Graham Hancock has been a pretty fascinating read.  Sometimes it’s a little boring but it’s good enough that I have almost read all 505 pages of it.  I should be done on Friday and I plan on taking a little bit of a break from the ancient civilization and Paganism books and work on reading the nonfiction on my TBR.  I’m looking forward to the breather and the chance to think some stuff out without constantly putting information into my head.

I keep chipping away at the Robyn Carr, too.  I purchased the Grace Valley trilogy as one book on Amazon and it makes it really hard to gauge where I actually am in the book.  There have been many nights when I did not read because the task seemed daunting.  I try to read it 1% at a time but that means that I always hav an idea of how long it’s going to take me to actually read it.  Right now I am at 83% but I also keep reminding myself that a little bit goes a long way.

Ditto for the Anne Rice.  I have always wanted to read about the Mayfair witches and I’m glad that I finally got around to it.  It’s just that sometimes Rice takes a little while to get warmed up.  And this is a 51 hour audiobook.  I keep going, though, and it is really good.

It’s going to be an interesting week.  This morning I feel like I have a good flow and I suspect that if this continues on I’ll be able to do some reading.  LD is going out of town from Wednesday to Saturday so I should have some extra time for reading AND some extra energy, plus the house won’t need picked up nearly as much.  I was really looking forward to the break but I already kind of miss the guy.  He hasn’t even left yet!  Parenthood is weird.

Tally Monday- June 17, 2019

Checked Out

  1. The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings

Bought

  1. Whispers from the Grave by Leslie Rule
  2. Stardew Valley Guidebook by Kari Fry

Read

  1. Rat Queens, vol 2 by Kurtis J. Wiebe
  2. Rat Queens, vol 3
  3. A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
  4. Antigone by Sophocles

Reading Only Human by Sylvain Neuvel (book), Down by the River by Robyn Carr (ebook), Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock (nonfiction), The Best Loved Poems of the American People (poetry), A Course in Miracles (daily), You Are a Badass Everyday by Jen Sincero (as needed)

This is the second time that I am writing this post because the first one devolved into me just bitching about how shitty I feel and you don’t need to hear that.

So, yeah, yesterday was my birthday.  It felt relaxing but underwhelming.

I spent a lot of time reading yesterday.  I read while LD took a bath.  I read whole LD watched cartoons.  I read while LD was at Grandma and Papa’s.  I also played a lot of my video game.  It was really relaxing but at the end of the day I had that feeling like I should have been doing something else and I had wasted the day and this morning I have this feeling that time is running out and I need to go go go.  It’s annoying.

Hubby bought me the Stardew Valley Guidebook for my birthday and it’s really adorable and has basically opened the gates to addiction again.  I played for hours yesterday and I could totally be playing right now.

I hadn’t been reading Down by the River lately.  Not really.  I still have most of the third book in this trilogy to go and while I like it I find that I have to take some break once in a while.  So I set it aside and read a little of this and a little of that or nothing at all.  Last night I picked it back up and I am ready to go into the final stretch.  Maybe I’ll get it done this month.

I feel like I have been reading a ton but I don’t feel like I’m really getting anywhere.  It’s surprising how much of my life is like that….

 

Tally Monday- June 10, 2019

Checked Out

  1. Making Magic by Brianna Saussy
  2. The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle
  3. I’m with the Band by Pamela Des Barres

Bought

  1. Secret Admirer by R.L. Stine
  2. The Party  by Christopher Pike
  3. Last Act by Christopher Pike
  4. Final Grade by R.L. Stine
  5. Humor, Horror, and the Supernatural by Saki
  6. Sometimes God Has a Kid’s Face by Sister Mary Rose McGeady
  7. The Tribe by Bari Wood (Paperbacks from Hell)
  8. The Golden Hour by Beatrice Williams (Book of the Month)

Read

  1. The Third Evil by R.L. Stine
  2. The Goblin Market by Christina Rosette
  3. Rat Queens, vol 1 by Kurtis J. Wiebe
  4. Sindbad the Sailor

Reading A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks (book), Down by the River by Robyn Carr (ebook), The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (audiobook), Best Loved Poems of the American People (poetry), A Course in Miracles (daily)

I am embarrassed to admit that I spent the last two months wondering if I should continue reading the Tolstoy.  If I am not enjoying a book or finding value in it, I usually have no problem putting it aside.  However, I held on to the Tolstoy far longer because “it was just a page or two a day” and it “wasn’t taking up much of my time” and what I intended to read after it seemed like way more of a dedication.  The problem is that I really wasn’t taking much from it.  What good is reading a page or two a day if it’s not working for you?

Honestly, it felt way too preachy to me.

So I started reading A Course in Miracles instead which states right in the preface that the course works with all religions even though it is very, very Christian.  Very.  We’ll see how it goes.

Last week I got smacked pretty hard with depression.  And, no, I have not been diagnosed as having any mental disorders but I recognize depression when it hits, which it does usually a couple of times a year.  I am being honest about my struggles with these things lately so I am confessing that I want to spend neither the time nor money to seek help and I muddle through.  I always think it’s no big deal when I am out of it and completely forget how fucking miserable it is.

I spent last week feeling like I was walking through quicksand, being completely exhausted and unfocused, randomly crying, crying over incredibly stupid stuff (Meijer didn’t have the charcoal I wanted and I sobbed for a half hour), feeling completely incapable, and fighting to maintain some normalcy.  I was a shitty mom, a shitty librarian, a shitty wife, a shitty friend, and a super shitty self.  And I couldn’t get myself to read.  I mostly just wanted to stare.

I’m not 100% but I do feel like I am mostly out of the woods.  Yesterday I even felt fine.  And so that’s my life.  Yeah, I recognize that something has to change.  I’m working on it.

Tally Monday- June 3, 2019

Checked Out

None!

Bought

None!

Read

  1. Socrates’ Defense by Plato
  2. the witch doesn’t burn in this one by Amanda Lovelace
  3. Revival, vol 8 by Tim Seeley
  4. The Second Evil by R.L. Stine

Reading The Third Evil by R.L. Stine (book), A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks (ebook), Down by the River by Robyn Carr (ebook), The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (audio), Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock, Best Loved Poems of the American People (poetry), A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy

Vacation last week.  We went to Florida with my husband’s family.  There were definitely some good times to be had (like getting my Little Dude into the pool, which he loved, and taking him on the carousel, which he loved) but traveling with a two year old was exhausting.  I’m exhausted.  We got home on Saturday night and I spent Sunday trying to unpack, which I only finished doing this morning, and I still need to do laundry and the house if a mess.  Plus season three of Riverdale in on Netflix and I want to read my books.

When we were on our way home, I got stuck in the front seat with no idea where my books were and I couldn’t search for them because I knew that my Kindle Fire was hidden in the same bag and that seeing my Kindle would send LD into fits, wanting to watch “Cokeymelon” (Cocomelon) and use all of our data.  So, I pulled out my phone and downloaded A Walk to Remember via Overdrive.  I don’t know why but I have been really wanting to read this lately.  I saw the movie when it came out eons ago.  I’ve tried to read Sparks before and thought he was pretty lame.  I managed to read the first 26% by the time we got home.  It’s a short book so that’s not a ton but it was nice having it on my phone.

Now I am caught between two books: do I continue reading about small town North Carolina circa the 1950’s with lots of God or should I continue reading about possessed cheerleaders gleefully killing one another.  It’s a serious toss up.

Since I’ve been home, I’ve been feeling like I am walking through quicksand.  It’s like I’m moving a mile a minute but I’m not getting anywhere.  This post should have been done before 10.  The unpacking should have been done by noon on Sunday.  If I could just surrender to it, I know that it would be fine but I keep fighting, kicking and screaming as I try to get myself moving even though I AM moving.  It’s pretty frustrating.  I keep telling myself to slow down and focus on the task at hand but I’m not listening to me.

Wish me some lock, would ya?

P.S. I started playing Cat Quest on vacation and it’s adorable.