- The Paris Review Interviews Women Writers at Work
- Wolf in White Van by John Darnielle
- Heating & Cooling by Beth Ann Fennelly
- Midnight Crossing by Charlaine Harris
- Home Improvement by Charlaine Harris
- The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
- Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris
- Soulless by Gail Carriager
- Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul 2
- State of the Union by Nick Hornby
- Sweetness and Lightning 1 by Gido Amagakure
- Sweetness and Lightning 2 by Gido Amagakure
- When the Sky Fell by Rand Flem-Ath
- Egyptians by Michael Hayes
- Vampire Diaries, all of them- by L.J. Smith
- Rat Queens, vol 6 by Kurtis J. Wiebe
- Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock
Reading: Only Human by Sylvan Neuvel (book), Down by the River by Robyn Carr (ebook), The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (audiobook), Loving and Leaving the Good Life by Helen Nearing (nonfiction), The Best Loved Poems of the American People (poetry), and A Course in Miracles (daily)
Fuuuuuck. Or, as I put it on Facebook:
Monday: I’m going to get my life under control, starting with my TBR!
Tuesday: I’m sad. I should check out a bunch of books and buy some too.
Wednesday: Oh no.
Thursday: What have I done??
Basically, a couple of weeks ago I made a decision and the decision made me feel TERRIBLE. It was really weighing on me and making me feel really bad about myself. Tuesday was the climax. I got up in the morning feeling shitty about myself, cried a bit, fretted a ton, and decided that I should do some “mock retail therapy.” The result was a pile of books checked out from the library. They are stacked on my desk at home, next to my TBR, and I think I might get to them in the next decade or so.
But checked them out made me feel WAY BETTER. Like, look at all of this abundance! Lifting my mood gave me the space to think and I had a realization. I am always trying to “fix” something that’s “wrong with me.” But there’s really nothing wrong with me that can be “fixed.” I mean, we all know that I struggle with mental health but I even handle that pretty well. For some reason I always think that I am broken or not enough, that I have to fix something rather than just striving to be my best, and it makes me feel terrible.
At the end of the day, I’m pretty awesome. I’m a good wife (I try to be excellent but get in my own way), a great mom, an excellent librarian. I am a good friend and kitty mom. I am smart and funny and I get shit done. And I still manage to read and write and exercise every day. I’d call this all WINNING. So I decided, yet again, to focus on loving myself and to try to live “intuitively,” being careful to listen to what I really WANT and what I really NEED. It’s tough but I’m trying.
LD was gone from Wednesday to Sunday with Grandma and Papa. It was nice little break, even if I missed him. I intended to read a lot while he was gone but I didn’t actually get around to it until Sunday afternoon. I sat in my favorite chair under my favorite tree with sun tea in my favorite cup and I read until LD got home. It felt great and I feel like I am ready to take off on a reading spurt again. Good thing because I have an avalanche waiting to happen.
Reading is one of my top priorities this week. There’s a holiday and the weather is fine. It’s time. Only Human took me a minute to get into but now I am back with the characters and can’t wait to see what happens. I’m nearing the end of The Witching Hour and plan to knock that out this week too. I’m at the house restoration part and I AM HERE FOR IT. All I really want is a big old house. I have to live vicariously.
Other than that, I am trying to come at things from a place of abundance. I have an abundance to books to read, not a lack of time to read them in. *uncomfortable grin*