Tally Monday- August 14, 2017

Checked Out

None!  Yay!

Bought

  1. Under the Empyrean Sky by Chuck Wendig
  2. Blightborn by Chuck Wendig
  3. The Harvest by Chuck Wendig
  4. Emitown, vol 2 by Emi Lennox

Read

  1. Believe Me by Eddie Izzard

Currently Reading: The Long Walk by Stephen King, Essays- The Second Series by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Anne of the Island by L.M. Mongotmery, Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight and Emitown, vol 1.

I made a joke on Facebook back in November that whenever I was feeling upset about Trump’s presidency, I was going to buy a book.  You know, it’s a good thing that I was joking because I would not have any money left.  If I’m being honest, I’ve probably done the exact opposite.  Hubby and I went to our local used book store, one of my favorite places in the world, and he bought a book and I didn’t, even though I stood in front of those glorious horror shelves for a long time.

By appearances, I’m still buying books like a mofo.  However, I bought those Wendig books on sale and I had been waiting for them to go on sale for a while.  And the Emitown, well, I’m working on the first volume and I needed the second volume.  So sue me. I’m not defensive at all.

I am 40 pages away from finishing The Long Walk and, whew, it is hitting hard.  This morning I read a paragraph that was 100% exactly the thoughts that give me panic attacks.  It’s good but it is definitely a rough ride for me.  I just want to read.

I WANT TO READ!  Like, right now.  Like, hiding under my desk.  It can’t be helped.  It happens every day.

 

Tally Monday- August 7, 2017

Checked Out

  1. It’s Hard to Be Hip Over Thirty by Judith Viorst

Bought

  1. Emitown, vol. 1 by Emi Lenox

Read

  1. It’s Hard to Be Hip Over Thirty

Reading The Long Walk by Stephen King, Emitown vol 1, Get Your Shit Together by Sarah Knight, Believe Me by Eddie Izzard, and Fat is the New Thirty by Jill Connor Browne

At the moment, I am on the cusp of a lot of things.  And by that I mean that I am about to finish the Eddie Izzard autobiography.  That feels cuspy to me.

Do you ever wonder why you don’t do the things that you want to do?  Really.  I mean, I had ample opportunity to read this weekend and a bit last week too but I never took it.  Even last night once I finally relinquished control of the remote to Hubby under the pretense of reading.  I got ready for bed and made a cup of tea and settled in on the couch and screwed off.  I looked things up.  I talked to Hubby.  I stared off into space.  Eventually I just went to bed, thinking that it was the TV distracting me.  But once I was in bed I couldn’t concentrate either.

Lately I am just feeling vastly disappointed in myself.  Seriously.  Like, why can’t I just pull my ass together and get on with things?  Why is it that even when I am doing the things that I think will make my life easier I feel like I am just fucking off? Why is it that I am home, sick, today and I’ve only read two pages when I laid down for a nap this morning?  What is wrong with me?

It IS hard to be hip after 30 and it’s hard to have it all and do it all and not lose your mind.  I’m sure that I’ll get in gear here soon.  I WANT to read and write reviews and actually have something positive to say.  Stick with me.  I’ll figure it out soon enough.

Tally Monday- July 31, 2017

Checked Out

  1. Inner Circle by Kate Brian
  2. Yoga for Your Mind and Body by Rebecca Rissman

Bought

It’s not here yet!  Ahhhhhh!

Read

  1. Unicorn Crossing by Dana Simpson
  2. The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight

Currently Reading: Believe Me by Eddie Izzard in audio, The Long Walk by Stephen King, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstein on Kindle, and Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight

At some point, I realize that things are falling apart.  I realize it but I just kind of stand back and keep saying it’s fine, so fine, so fine that it is awesome.  And I just keep doing that until one day I end up crawling to work, exhausted and a little hung over, aware that I let things go until I did something stupid and upset at myself because, seriously, why the fuck can’t I just get it together already.  Never mind that in my daily life I work full time in a management position, am married and have a four month old and four cats, juggle my finances like balls of fire, and own a home which I keep in working order via cleaning, laundry, and organizing.  Sometimes I cook too.

That’s a lot.  Maybe I do have my shit together.

What all of this is leading up to is that I checked out a yoga book this week.  And there were a number of reasons for doing so.  I do a lot of things to manage my stress and anxiety and meditation and exercise figure pretty high on that list.  Also, part of things falling apart at this moment is that I am larger than I have ever been besides being pregnant.  And, yeah, I know that four months isn’t long but I have gained weight since going to back to work and I feel shitty and refuse to buy new clothes.  But I can’t go out and work my ass off because I had a c-section.  Yes, I can work out but only at low intensity and I know that because when I do anything higher intensity (not even high, just higher) it kind of feels like my uterus is going to knife it’s way out of my scar.  Gross sounding, also not very comfortable.

A couple of weeks ago I tried to do a Denise Austin work out and I hurt for days.  Last Sunday I got up and down too much.  Yesterday I simply finished cleaning the house and ended up tender at the end of the day.  I push myself, this is true.

And so, I basically want to just stretch a bit.  You know?

That was a long ass ramble for that.  But I don’t give a fuck.  Ha!  See?  Because I finished that book!  And, honestly, Knight’s book made me feel a lot better about stuff.  I did not go through the whole process but it has been nice asking myself if I really give a fuck about something before wasting my give a fuck energy on it.  So, I DID give a fuck about cleaning the house this weekend but I did not give a fuck about the Private series by Kate Brian anymore.  Balance.

This morning I started reading The Long Walk in earnest.  You may recall that I am trying to read all of the Stephen King books?  Well, I love King but I have to admit that I have a hard time starting his books.  I will be so excited to start and then when it’s time I’ll let that book sit for days before I crack it.  I don’t know why.  But I’m a solid 30 pages in now and I’ve remembered that I love him.  Also, I’ve been having a hard time trusting the author to tell me what I need to know lately and I can even see that playing out in my own writing where I spend days fleshing out a backstory before I realized that I was telling, not showing.

Plans this week?  The Long Walk, my next journal, and then The Night Circus.  I swear this time! lol

Tally Monday- July 24, 2017

Checked Out

  1. Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery

Bought

  1. The Well-Read Witch by Carl McColman
  2. Emitown, Best of 2009 by Emi Lenox
  3. Emitown, vol 1 by Emi Lenox

Read

  1. Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts
  2. Emitown: The Best of 2009 by Emi Lenox
  3. Journals, October 2002-March 2003

Currently Reading Unicorn Crossing  by Dana Simpson, Believe Me by Eddie Izzard, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight

On Friday I gave you my excuses for not keeping up with Graphic Friday very well and I promised that I would do my best to read that 400 page book on my Kindle by this Friday.  I picked at it here and there, read a page or two at work and a couple while I fed LD and some in bed before I napped.  I was really enjoying it!  I was settling in!  I was thinking, “I have pages and pages of this and it’s formatted so that I can’t track my percentage read and I can just go with the flow!”  I laid down last night and picked up my Kindle.  I switched it on and settled in for a little reading before bed.  I read one page, two… and then it was done.

“WTF?!” I exclaimed and I started frantically clicking around and trying to figure out what happened.

What happened:  When I bought the book on Friday, I got onto Amazon and typed in “Emitown, vol 1” and it took me to the glorious “407 pages!” Volume One.  I noticed that the Kindle version was ONE 99 CENTS!  Like, that’s amazing!  So I clicked on the Kindle button, bought it, downloaded it, and got started.  HOWEVER, upon closer inspection this morning, when you click on the Kindle/Comixology button it takes you to the Best of 2009 collection which is only 39 pages long.  In fact, it looks like the 407 page volume doesn’t actually exist in ebook form.  Doh.

Needless to say I purchased a used copy of the paperback this morning.

I’ve done a pretty damn decent job of catching up after my accidental library book explosion.  At present I have two audiobooks, one ebook, and one physical book out.  I am settling back into my rotation and I am excited to do so.  Today I plan on finishing Unicorn Crossing and diving into my next journal.  My next YA book is waiting for me to check out and it is a continuation of a series that I forgot I was reading like a year ago.  This will decide whether or not I continue the series.  After that, Stephen King!  Then back to the Night Circus as my main read, even though I am currently going to be reading it at night.

There is a trail of half read books behind me and I kind of want to clean house.

Also in Rachael Reading World, I should finish my current nonfiction book, The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck, on Friday if I don’t do that thing where I just finish it because I am so close.  I cannot decide what to read next.  Hubby bought me a book about authors behaving badly and I want to read it because I want him to know that I really appreciate it.  I also what to read Knight’s Get Your Shit Together, which is something that I have always wanted to do, and The Happiness Project by Gretchin Reuben because I’ve been meaning to forever and also whatever happens to be the first NF book in my never ending list.

Like I’ve said, I’ll never run out of things to read or watch or listen to.

Tally Monday- July 17, 2017

Checked Out

  1. Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts (e-book)
  2. Unicorn Crossing by Dana Simpson
  3. Believe Me by Eddie Izzard (audio)
  4. The Unwritten: Inside Man by Mike Carey

Bought

  1. Pines by Blake Crouch (e)
  2. Wayward by Blake Crouch (e)
  3. The Last Town by Blake Crouch (e)
  4. Wolf Hall by Hillary Mantel (e)

Read

  1. Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery (a)

Currently Reading: The Night CircusFat is the New 30Where the Heart Is

When I looked at the list above, my brain started singing a song from The Wizard of Oz.  Seriously…  “What happened was just this.  The wind began to switch the house to pitch.  And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.”  Why?  Because what happened in my life and reading life over the last week was like a fucking tornado.

We’ll start with a little insight into the last week.  I had a migraine for six days.  On the fifth day I finally gave up on work and went home early to nap.  Ahead of me?  A big event that I was super excited about and I didn’t want to have a migraine through!  Needless to say, a six day migraine slows you right the fuck down.  On top of that, I was short at least two hours of sleep Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights.  I was pretty much brain dead.

And Friday TWO PEOPLE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE GOT MARRIED!  And the wedding was gorgeous and so much fun!  My MOL kept LD and I got to have a night of drinking and dancing irresponsibly with some of my favorite people in the world.  Because my friends are the shit.  They are smart and fun and they deal with me and I seriously could not as for more.

Then I spent Saturday and Sunday recovering and giving myself a break.  I colored a lot and I day drank yesterday.  I watched something like eight episode of The X-Files.  And I don’t regret a thing about it!  I needed a break!

But, let’s talk about reading, shall we?

I have no fucking clue what I was thinking checking out all of those books.  Okay, I ordered the second The Unwritten while I was reading the first one and thought that it would be done the day that I was reading it.  I got the Eddie Izzard because I love him and I had heard that he goes off on funny tangents in the audiobook.  I figured it was worth it to take a quick break from the Anne books.  I totally didn’t even know that there was another Phoebe and Her Unicorn book until Thursday and I grabbed it off the shelf right away.  Finally, I’ve been like half through Where the Heart Is all year and thought I’d like to finish it.  (It’s good for the numbers!)

Then I was like, “Fuck it.  I can’t read my journals right now.  I have a problem again.”

It’s hard because I actually really like how I have been doing things since the baby was born.  I LOVE just choosing my next book and rolling with it.  I LOVE the wiggle room.  I feel like my reading life is much richer and like I will get around to reading a lot more stuff that I actually want to read.  But old habits die hard.

I don’t want things to keep piling up.

Obviously, the way to solve this is to buy a shit ton of e-books because they don’t take up space.  I hope you can feel my eye roll from all the way over here.  Also, I bought those books because of my birthday money.  This year I got $150 for my birthday and I was so super excited!  I was like, “Hell, this will almost pay off one of my baby bills.”  But Hubby told me not to use it to pay bills but to buy myself fun stuff.  Instead of paying bills with it, I pissed it away a little at a time.  Not on fun stuff either.  I mean, I bought beer with it once and I think some Taco Bell.  Instead it went to… formula and cat food mostly.

I was feeling a bit bitter about all of this so I bought a ton of e-books this week because I didn’t get to use my cash for used books.  Adulting is shit.  I’m pretty much over it. lol.

This week, let’s read.  Ok?  Ok.

Tally Monday- July 10, 2017

Checked Out

  1. The Unwritten: Tommy Taylor and the Bogus Identity by Mike Carey

Bought

None

Read

None

Currently Reading
The Night Circus (barely), Fat is the New 30, listening to Anne of Avonlea, and still delving into my old journals.

This morning when I got to work, I had the little chat with myself.  You know, about how if I want to read I’m going to have to actually, like, read.  Books don’t finish themselves.  I should put aside my old journals.  It’s not that constructive to read them.

Or is it?  And, does it matter?  I mean, I am really enjoying it.  I am enjoying how fucking funny dramatic teenagers are.  I am enjoying all of the foreshadowing.  Sometimes it’s like watching a horror movie.  I want to cover my eyes and yell, “No!  Don’t go upstairs you idiot!”  And sometimes I can see that thread of time that holds me to that girl who was just figuring things out.  I can see how those experiences helped make me who I am today.  I can also see some of the things that I have glossed over in time.

What I’m getting around to is this:  I wanted this year to be different from last year.  Last year I read 129 books and some of them were really good but at the end of the year I felt really “meh” about the whole thing.  I felt… unsatisfied.  I didn’t really have fun.  My TBR stack was no smaller.  I was beginning to wonder if reading was worth it.  I hit the reset button when LD was born and I’m not going to let myself get sucked back into just reading like a machine to get my numbers up.  I will read my old journals until I am done or I am bored.

The problem is that there are always days like today, when every book that I touch is drenched in possibilities and I want to read them all.

I’m feeling spread thin again.  Too many books and my journals.  Too many podcasts and my audiobook.  Tons of coloring to do.  Plus, I’m spending my time playing a ridiculous amount of Ticket to Ride.  But the important thing, the most important thing, is that I am happy and enjoying myself, no matter what I chose to do.

Chose wisely, my friends, but chose for your own damn joy.

Tally Monday- June 26, 2017

Checked Out

  1. Archie, vol 3 by Mark Waid

Bought

  1. The Cheerleader by Caroline B. Cooney

Read

  1. We Were Liars by E. Lockhart
  2. A Room of Her Own by Chris Casson Mason
  3. “Guts” by Gnesis Villan
  4. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

Currently Reading: Gwendy’s Button Box by Stephen King and Richard Chizmar

 

Early this morning, I realized that I could have easily finished Gwendy’s Button Box this weekend.  At 175 pages, it isn’t much of a book.  It’s marketed as a novella and for King that’s certainly about right.  Hubby was out of town on a boys’ camping trip for our friend’s bachelor party and I was home with Little Dude.  Saturday I had a couple of errands to run but LD and I were home by about 12:30.  I accomplished a lot this weekend.  I’m starting the work week with a clean house and all of the laundry done, plus I managed to bathe a baby who hates baths and cut his nails, which is a practice in complete anxiety.  Friday I had a program at work that ran until 9 but every night LD went right to bed and slept through it.  And me?  What was I doing during those hours which could have been spent blissfully reading in the quiet house?

Well, I had some beers.  I talked to my brother.  I ate a lot of fries.  I colored.  And I watched the complete third season of The Ranch, finishing just after Hubby got home and just in time for us to take in three episodes of Riverdale.

Sometimes I get this longing to just FUCKING FINISH SOMETHING ALREADY.  When I was on maternity leave, the only show that I finished was The Ranch and then BAM! There’s a new season.  I just wanted to be done with something.  Plus, it’s GD hilarious.  I’m incredibly invested.

I’m also super invested in Riverdale.  Why?  It’s so damn dramatic.  I can’t help myself!  I was so excited when I heard that this show was coming out, especially after taking in the new run of Archie comics.  It kind of feels like my life is steeped in Riverdale right now and I am perfectly okay with that.  I just got volume 3 of the comics in and I meant to read it for Graphic Friday but there was no time for anything that day.  I’ll read it this Friday.

I wanted to talk a bit about my New and Improved Reading System.  You know the one?  The one where I don’t plan any further and the next book and I read King, book I own, book I own, young adult.  Already I am fighting myself from making more rules and more structure and adding more books.  At the end of the first cycle, which finished up with We Were Liars, it felt really good to read that way.  I’m ticking away at my Stephen King reading.  I’m working through books that I own, some of which have been in my stash for a decade.  When I finish a book I own (or don’t, as with The Blue Jay’s Dance) I can donate it or add it to my “permanent collection.”  It’s nice to read some of the books that I suggest to patrons.  If I add more, I’ll just be ruining the fun of it.

And there is that part of me that wants to read through all of the series I’ve been meaning to try.  And there is a part of me that thinks I should only draw random books from my book jar.  (That’s where my next book came from and I have been wavering back and forth on whether or not I want to bother with it or donate it and move on.)  The point of changing things was that I wanted more freedom.  FREEDOM!

But I am nothing is not structured, believe it or not.

Well, I can’t wait to find out what the buttons on Gwendy’s box do.  But I also really, really need to know who killed Jason Blossom.  So we’ll see what I have to say next week.